Never, Nunca, (副)決して; いまだに; 全く

Never is a word for young people. The word “never” is ridiculous and useless as one gets older. Anyone who uses the word in an absolute way, non-related to anything life-threatening, has consigned themselves to a life of inflexibility, restrictions and a certain smallness.

When I was younger, there were many things I swore I’d never do. Why? Because I had never done those things before, never tried them, and thus my list of nevers were easy to dismiss. Things I’d said I’d never do (in no particular order): eat raw fish, smoke, move to Asia, live in a shared house (again), have a one-night stand, wear pearls, tell people anything private about myself, date a guy who wears suits to work. The list of my nevers could’ve gone on and on (“’til the break of dawn”), as they changed with the years. I could’ve choked on my nevers.

One example: When I was a vegetarian, I despised pork more than any other meat. Why? 1) Because I think it’s a trend to hate pork 2) I had an extremely brief “I think I’m a Rasta” phase in 1999 3) Because I didn’t know then that my mind and will would be ever-evolving, flexible, and wholly subject to my desires.

Flash forward: A few days ago, B and I went to Hatos Bar in Naka-Meguro. B told me that, “Hatos is Southern Americana; an indulgent haven for pork lovers.” Hatos Bar seats only about fourteen people inside and four at an outside table. The first time I went with LD, as I’d reported in a previous post, we were offered a table outside. (It was freezing that day, so that was a no go). Paintings and other artwork cover Hatos’s walls, and its tables, chairs and bar area all have a rustic feel. The menus are slabs of board with food on one side and drinks on the other; the choices are few: pork belly, pork ribs, pulled pork sandwiches, mac and cheese, chili, french fries, chili fries, imported beers and other beverages. There are no greens on the menu, nothing that could be considered remotely healthy. (Ironically, enjoying a pork feast with no guilt is very “healthy” for me).

Over the weekend, we walked into the small space that smelled like slow-cooked ribs, family barbecues, and childhood summers. Unfortunately, when we tried to order the ribs, they were sold out; so, we ordered and shared everything else on the food side of the menu, except the chili. The pork belly (the first I’ve ever tried) was rubbed with spices, dribbled in bbq sauce, and served with a spicy potato salad.  (To think, I said I’d never…).

Here I sit in Asia, on a warm day, with many others who’re enjoying this blast of sunshine, on an outside step overlooking the water, reflecting on my pork never and so many nevers that came before. Nevers I need to explore. What else have I missed out on?




8 thoughts on “Never, Nunca, (副)決して; いまだに; 全く

  1. Girl I swear at the same time u were downing the pork in Japan, Tan and I were here in Jamaica talking about how pork is the sweetest meat and how we’d NEVER give it up! In fact I was telling her that pork is the most common cause of backsliding here in Jamaica. How many times have you heard people say, ‘I don’t eat pork but I eat pigstail/ ham/bacon’. It’s craaaazy good!

  2. Girl, you tell me every other time you think I’m being a fool, but never once did you hit me upside the head with a pigstail (and God knows you keep pigstail in your purse). You should’ve forced me! Anyway, you know where we’ll go when you visit– Hatos.🙂

    Second – I SWEAR, every never I said I would NEVER do …I have done no less than three times…
    The adage is true – youth is wasted on the youth….

    Never and Cant are GONE from my vocabulary….life is too short.
    GREAT POST!!!!

  4. Isn’t he just the freaking best?!! You’re from Brooklyn, so you can attest (unintentional rhyme, but you know!)

    It’s the truth Miss H; we learn late, but at least we learn… I think I’ve repeated most of my nevers too, and that includes the ones I’m too “shy” to write.

    Thank you girl… they’re gone from mine too🙂.

  5. Lol, the absolutes will get you in trouble ALL the time….I’ve often found myself saying “I hope I never do this/that”. Cut to a few years later and it becomes “I never thought I’d ever do this/that”. Ahhh life!

  6. At least you were wise enough to say, “I hope I never…” (I wasn’t that cautious with my foolishness). Hope you’re still out there exploring (and crushing your nevers, of course).

  7. I really enjoy your letters.
    It was a while ago, but I still remember you. (You were beautiful, and had so much style!!)
    Hope I can get to see you again, then I wanna offer you the best table, and I like to chat with you.
    Have fun with exploring your NEVERs.

  8. Thanks so much for your wonderful message. You really put some sunshine into this gray German day.🙂 I also wish to visit Japan again (sooner than later), so hope to see you then.

    All the best!

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